Hitler x Cartman
by Omgbrookyhehe
Summary: When a new kid arrives at South Park middle school, Cartman finds out the boy is more of a historical figure than he had planned for. And the thing is, the new kid takes a liking to Eric.  Drabble-y, angst-y, character death, yaoi fluff. Rated T.
1. The new kid

A/N: Before I begin, I have to say... I don't mean this fanfiction to be offensive, rude, or both... ^^; I just did it for kicks and a crack couple I've been thinking of forever. So please no hate comments x3 I hope it'll meet your liking.  
Warning: Drabble-y, angsty, character death, slash, yaoi fluff, nice..."clone"...young!Hitler. Combine those. What have I done...?

"A new kid?" Cartman said in disbelief "Seriously? We have enough fucking kids here." Kyle gave the brunette a gentle punch on the shoulder and a glare "Cartman, be nice. Actually give him a chance, he seems cool." They were both looking at a boy across the courtyard who had; by rumor, moved to South Park from Austria. He had short, dark brown hair with a choppy side part and blue eyes. He was kind of pale. His back was against the brick wall of the middle school, he was occupied with a drawing pad and a pencil. The new kid's blue eyes darted up every now and then to look at the features of the courtyard and then back down at his pad of paper. It seemed like the male was drawing the scenery.  
"I'm going to go see what his problem is." Eric started towards the boy and called out to him, making him look up from his drawing. "Guten tag." the boy greeted him with a smile and got up from his spot on the concrete. He was a little shorter than Cartman. His hands were filled with the drawing pad and pencil. "Who are you? Why'd you move here?" The kid replied in a thick German accent that Cartman hadn't noticed when he greeted him with the already accent equipped German greeting "My name's Adolf. Adolf Hitler." he said, switching his pencil to the other hand to offer a handshake, about to reply to his next question. Before he could, he immediatley pulled his hand back when Eric's obnoxious laughter filled the icy air "Yeah right! Ha! In your dreams!" The other's confused look proved he had no idea what was going on. "Huh? What's wrong with my name?" Eric was still grinning as he replied "You can't prank Eric Cartman, butthole." he replied, his grin softening to a mocking smile "Who would actually believe you were named after the greatest man that ever lived?"  
"Actually, I-" The bell rang out and he glanced in the direction of the school doors. "I have to go now." Cartman snickered and headed back to Kyle "Well?" The daywalker smiled slightly "Who is he?" "He's trying to tell me he's Hitler." Eric snorted "I'm not believing him though..." Kyle frowned and shifted uncomfortably "Oh..." Was all he said before walking towards the school, following his chubby friend. 


	2. Recognizing him

Picking up one of the green lunch trays from the stack, Eric slid it over to the plastic windows sheilding the cafeteria food and glanced up at the junior high lunch lady. She sneered and served him before going on to serve the next awaiting student. Cartman ribboned through the crowd of teenagers, bumping into Pip just to make him fall down. He smiled as the high pitched voice gave a cry and was attended to by Damien. He placed his tray of food on the table where Butters, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were sitting. Sitting next to Butters, he looked at Kenny. Kenny had his eyes locked on a table in the back of the room, Eric followed the gaze. That new kid was sitting alone at the back table, resting his head on one hand. He was looking around the lunch room, though he had no food in front of him. Kyle narrowed his eyes at the curious brunette "Cartman, what are you thinking...?"  
Without a reply, he got up and walked to the back table, looking away from the shorter teen's friendly smile. "Hallo, Eric~." he greeted, straightening up.  
'If this guy really was Hitler, why is he a kid?' Eric thought, ignoring the greeting. 'And why would he be so benign?' Adolf's smile faltered with no reply from the chubbier teen. 'He was the only one that cared to notice me today.' Adolf thought, his smile reappearing 'Maybe he does like me.' Opening his mouth to talk, Eric interrupted with a question "If you're Hitler, prove it." "Why would I nee-"  
"I said prove it." Eric snapped.  
He blinked in suprise and sighed, gripping the edge of the table tightly "I'm his clone..."  
Unfortunatley, Cartman had more questions "Why are you a kid?"  
Shrugging, he smiled once more "I guess that's just how I came out." he really didn't know why.  
The chubbier teenager didn't snap to realization until he was given more information. "Clone? So you really are him?" His excitement shown through his brown eyes. He accepted the nod and grinned. "Sweet!" He stopped short and pulled Adolf up by his hand, starting towards the table Kyle, Butters, Stan, and Kenny were sitting at. "Guys, this is fucking awesome!" he started, pointing to the other "This is Hitler's clone!" A few strange stares were directed at Eric from a group of girls walking by. "Jesus Christ, Cartman..." Stan pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers and bowed his head. Kyle just sunk in his seat a little, trying to appear smaller. "God damn it Cartman, no it isn't!" Kyle said, trying to sound firm. His voice was a bit unsure though. The smaller teen next to Eric frowned, biting his lip, embarrassed. "I'm from a cloning facility..." he said quietly. Kyle blinked and got up, going straight for the bathroom doors. Stan and Kenny's glance followed him until he was out of sight. It was clear that the only happy person in the group of boys was Eric, who still had a grip on the clone's hand. 


	3. A strange pairing

Hitler liked him. Eric's dreams were finally coming to real life. All of the attempts to follow in his hero's footsteps were underdone at this point. "There's a downside to being a clone..." Were the words that broke the silence between the two boys.  
"What..?" Eric's eyes flickered over to meet the icy blue ones.  
"When you reach the end of the line, you die the same way your original did." Sighing, he looked away from Cartman and squeezed the hand he held in his own.  
"So you're basically going to die the same way Hitler did? Suicide?" He recieved a nod from the young leader "For me, that's soon..." "You can't just kill yourself before you kill Kahl."  
"Huh?"  
"He's a Jew. Can't you take him out first before you go?" Cartman was obviously himself today.  
"That isn't actually my mission. My creator said that I have to keep a steady relationship for a day... Since my original.. Never did." "Pfft... Lame." Eric rolled his eyes and scoffed, looking away. Everyone knew Eric was gay. Since the day he had a slip up at camp with Butters when he was 12. He didn't know how to tell this secret to his new friend though. I mean, the original man had hated homosexuals. An embarrassed blush crept onto Cartman's cheeks and he tried to wipe it away with his free hand as if it were possible.  
"I actually have someone in mind." Adolf stated "He-... They're the only one that's been nice to me. I feel like an outcast when I'm alone. Away from them." He was secretly talking about the male who sat beside him.  
Said male gave a grumble under his breath.  
"Eric?" he started, clutching his hand tighter "That's you."  
The brunette froze, giving him a shifty look. That's certainly not how he remembered him. 'I read something about that before...' he thought, suddenly getting it. He felt a hotter warmth invade his cheeks as he made eye contact. They stayed like that for a while before the clone of Hitler began leaning forwards, Eric did the same. Their lips locked for what seemed like forever before they both pulled away for air. The smaller male wrapped his arms around the larger frame and smiled. If he stayed with these feelings for the rest of the day, he would finally make his creator proud. 


	4. The inevitable fate

"You did great..." Sendrick stated to the 14 year old standing in front of him. Sendrick was the head of the Cloning Facility. Sure, he didn't exactly plan that his younger clone version of the late chancellor would end up with another male. It didn't matter much to him at all anyways, he sent him on a mission to find a relationship, and he did just that. He was observing Cartman; who stood next to Adolf, his eyes wandering around the massive building.  
"This place is killer." Eric laughed, bringing his attention back to the tall, thin man who created clones regularly.  
"Killer. Right." He replied nonchalantly, gesturing for the two boys to follow him. They obeyed.  
All three of them entered a room that was an exact replica of the room that the original Hitler had killed himself in. Sendrick glanced over at Adolf who was nervously chewing his lip. "Clone 88?" he adressed him by his cloning number instead of his name. "We will be outside." Leaving him to the room by himself, the clone cried out and stopped them.  
"Wait!" he exclaimed, lacing his fingers together "I have to say goodbye..." Adolf glanced up at Eric and smiled lightly. The other pressed his lips against the smaller male's in a quick, goodbye kiss. "I... love you, Eric." Cartman sighed and frowned, shoving his hands into his pockets "...I love you too..." he said sheepishly, glancing away. Sendrick and him left the room. When they exited, Sendrick pressed a silver button on the wall which revealed bulletproof, one-way glass. Eric watched as he picked up a gun and crouched down on the ground next to the bed. He said something; which was inaudible through the glass, and raised the gun, pulling the trigger. Cartman widened his chocolate brown eyes and averted them quickly at the blank stare and how the clone's icy blue eyes drained of color as soon as the shot was fired. "That was great..." Sendrick smiled, scribbling down some pros and cons on his clipboard before rising from his seat and excusing Eric. Said teen got up and turned to go, hating the tears that threatened to fall. "It was only a damn clone..." he muttered under his breath, escaping the building and out into the cold, examining the two pairs of shoeprints in the snow. Inside, he didn't care if it was only a clone. He cared that he had been loved for a mere day.  
As soon as he was back on the sidewalk to his house, he kicked the snow miserably. That kick revealed the corner of... 'A book?' he thought.  
'No, a notepad.' Eric picked it up. 'A drawing pad?' opening it up, it revealed an amazing, well detailed drawing of the school's courtyard. There were two people standing in the corner. The two people were Kyle and Eric. Cartman smiled slightly and noticed a piece of paper that had slipped out. He retrieved it.  
"Dear Eric," the note started.  
"You were the only one that cared enough to talk to me or even look at me. Caring that I was there was enough for me to get by and complete my creator's mission." Eric blushed a little.  
"I wanted to say thank you. I'm long gone by now. But I hope you can keep this notebook to remember me by. Oh, I drew a picture in it too." He glanced back at the picture before continuing the note "I'm sorry I had to leave so soon. If I could, I would stay with you forever. But, I'm only a clone. You'd probably want the real deal anyways." This wasn't true.  
"I have a bit of a suprise for you. I'm not a clone. My creator actually brought me back and when he did, it turned me into a teenager. My suicidal fate was inevitable either way. Thank you for helping me through this, Eric Cartman."  
Eric was caught at a bit of a surpise, just like it had intended.  
"I love you..." It finished and the male squeezed his eyes shut and slipped the note back into the notebook, finally giving into the tears.  
"I love you too..." he whispered to the sky. After that, he continued his journey back home. Clutching the notebook against his chest. 


End file.
